July 14, 2020
The dream was preceded by:
My job is interesting and dynamic and requires traveling to other cities. That day I was on business in a city and I was feeling well. There were about ten of us at work, mostly women. I like some of them (I have met them before, also on business) and they could make me feel tingly inside. When I got home, I went to a friend's. We were sitting and talking when I saw a girl in the yard out of the window. He told me that she is the one he wanted to introduce me to, then he went out to get her and they entered the room together. At first glance, I liked her and she seemed very young. It seemed to me that I had never seen her before, although she is from our hometown. Watching her, I had mixed feelings – a feeling of inferiority (because she is beautiful and young) and a feeling of superiority, because I am older and my profession makes me feel secure. Later, I was thinking about what happened that day, but I felt indifferent.
Dream name: No more self-deception
I was in front of the house, surrounded by some girls (women). I can recognize one girl's face (similar to the girl I met at a friend's) and I was talking to her. The other girls were just standing there, kind of blurry. I felt uncomfortable talking to this girl, while the others were probably listening to us. I thought that it would be much better if I could meet each of the girls separately, while the others could not see or even know that.
Later on, I found myself in a car in the back seat with that girl, lying next to each other. The space was narrow, and she was scantily clad, and because of the cramped space, we were literally glued together. For that reason, my hands were on her body, as if I had nowhere to put them. As if I were a kid I took the advantage of that girl touching some parts of her body (slang "touching her up"). It was really enjoyable I thought and if she made a fuss, I'd have an excuse for my hands had nowhere to go as the space was pretty cramped. I felt good, excited, and it seemed as if my hands were having a great time themselves.
Impression after waking up from sleep:
It was a kind of strange dream, but it wasn't much of the excitement. I had the impression that it was just one more in a series of dreams in which girls (women) appear and in which I play a role. My previous dreams included similar scenes where I was surrounded by several girls. As there is an internal conflict inside of me about whether I should remain being single, on my own and free (as before), or I should open up and find my soulmate, I have decided to interpret this dream in more detail.
Dream interpretation including descriptions:
I was in front of the house, surrounded by some girls (women) (I like being in the company of women, they are sensible, friendly, sensitive, and ready to hang out with me; but, as if I could not stay focused on that one who is right for me). I recognized one girl's face (she looked like the girl I met at my friend's) and I was talking to her (she could be the one I think about and dream of meeting in my life, as my life companion; attractive and young, kind and helpful, responsible, someone whose presence makes me feel tingly inside, and at the same time she has her guard up and prejudices about me). The other girls were standing there, kind of blurry. I felt uncomfortable talking to this girl, while the others were probably listening to us. I thought that it would be better to meet each of the girls separately, while the others could not see or even know that (on the one hand, there are many of them and my desire to hide from them is a constant search for "the right person," because she is not the one and so on, and on the other, I give none of them the space necessary to achieve intimacy).
Later I found myself with that girl in a car, in the back seat, (the car is a necessity that helps us move through life; but the back seat is reserved mostly for passengers, or as a place for children; we lack space to take a real rest while lying down and away from everyday life, so that we can take our own time for intimacy, relaxation, fun, and enjoyment) we were lying next to each other. The space was narrow, she was scantily clad, and due to the cramped space, we were literally glued together. That's why my hands were on her body as if I could put them nowhere else (my thoughts arising out of fear that I will be imprisoned when I find a soulmate, that I will lose my freedom and other girls will not be within my reach). As if I were a kid, I took advantage of that girl touching her all over her body (slang "touching her up") (touching causes enjoyment, physical acquaintance, and developing intimacy). At the same time, I enjoyed it, and I thought if she made a fuss, I'd have an excuse as my hands had nowhere to go because the space was very cramped up. I felt good, excited, and it seemed to me that my hands were having a great time themselves (it suggests that I will feel fantastic and enjoy everything with the right one).
Dream bridge:
The dream that I dreamt was clearly etched on my memory and reflected, to a certain extent, my real condition in which I find myself, with all the positive and negative characteristics.
The house in front of me is a symbol of rest, safety and protection. It is a corner where you can find your peace and life hidden from the world, just like my apartment where I live in real life and which provides me with comfort and safety – I have nicely equipped it and it is a space where I spend a lot of time and which fulfils me.
The girl I was talking to in front of the house, as well as the other girls/women in the dream, remind me of the situation I find myself in reality. Over a few years, the structure of my company has changed a lot. I used to hang out more with men, and during recent years, there has been a gradual and almost imperceptible change, so I allow and open myself to hanging out with girls more often. To be more precise, I am hanging out much more with women than with men now. Besides, in the last couple of years, by changing myself, I have become more interesting to the opposite sex, but also a kind of "target" for a more serious relationship, and maybe for something more. I can see it, I can feel it and I am aware of it. However, I have hesitations and I am waiting for the one who will light "my fire" and I hope it will be on both sides. So far, it has mostly been one-sided, which is not enough to accomplish something more. By nature, I can't react if I don't have that "tingly-all-over feeling", so I maintain superficial relationships with all women/girls.
The girl I was talking to in my dream is the part of me looking for someone to light my "fire". It is an aspect of myself that wants to find a "soulmate" with whom my life will be more fulfilled on the one hand. But that part of myself is at the same time passive, faint-hearted, closed, and full of prejudices about me as being inadequate for a relationship/intimacy, as shown by my thoughts, staying in a place wherefrom the car is not driven and being static in my dream – childishly and nervously playing with my hands as I can put them nowhere else. However, staying with her in such a cramped space in the back seat symbolizes my strong connection and inseparability with the part of myself that is looking for someone with whom I'll spend the rest of my life on the one hand, and on the other, that is full of prejudices about who I am, whether I am worth being in a relationship, including my hesitations and reflections on whether to stay single, or open up to intimacy. Cars symbolize movement through life, changes, and new vistas. The fact that we were in the car, in the back seat, indicates that I "have a car" for change and movement, but that I am not in the right position to start "driving" and to make the necessary changes if I want to find my soulmate. What I was thinking about in my dream i.e., to start seeing each of the girls/women may be one of the solutions or suggestions. Thus, I would allow myself to get to know each girl better, letting my "fire" to be lit by one of them.
Conclusion:
The symbolism of that girl and me, first in front of the house, and then in the back seat of the car, shows that the part of myself that is looking for a "soulmate" is inactive and unenergetic, tied to the old behavior patterns and thinking that some girls do not want me or find me attractive. A parallel with the dream is that this cramped space in the car prevents me to spread my wings and get more space and freedom in that direction. It is me being passive, doing nothing, or not doing enough, to prompt specific activities in this sense.
My new decision should be to replace the old behavior patterns with the new ones, which will give me more freedom to start managing that aspect of my life as well. Symbolically, to sit in and steer the car, to ensure movement and change. It's time to stop "touching up" myself or to deceive myself by remaining passive and tied to my prejudices. I need to give a chance to deeper relationships with the girls around me who obviously find me attractive and good enough, since they are here, around me. I need to understand and accept that part of my inner saboteur who keeps his guards up and has prejudices, therefore he really needs intimacy. It is important for me to take action in order to get to know the girls better and let myself be in deeper relationships with them so that I could finally feel "my fire or tingly-all-over feeling" and find my soulmate.
