The Art of Criticism
• Behavioral principle – Focus on behavior;
• Principle of clarity – State a specific behavior;
• Principle of subjectivity – Provide your experience;
• Principle of specificity – Highlight the exact behavior we want to change, separating it from other behaviors;
• Principle of timeliness – Direct criticism when it is occurring;
• Principle of the minimum intensity required – Know the limits/Don't be excessive.
• I messages
I don't like it at all when you throw things like that!
• Framed criticism
Hey, look, your play can be really creative, but it's not OK when you're pushing your friend like that.
• YOU messages (-CS and +CS)
I don't like it when you play with food that way - such a smart girl can eat quickly and go play with toys.
• Cold-Warm criticism
That was totally no good, and I'm sure you're so good at finding a solution.
• Sandwich criticism (+US, -CS, +US)
You're a very smart boy, but this behavior isn't ok – I don't like you scribbling when you are not ok with something, and I know you can use your imagination.
• A call for self-criticism
Please tell me what YOU think – is that okay?
You can go play in your room.
• A call for self-correction
What else do you think you can play?